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Location: Chicago, Illinois, United States

Nothing much to say here except that I write to keep myself interested in things other than work and home. And I have to admit it has paid rich dividends. A heartfelt thanks to all my readers who make me feel oh-so-special!

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Kuch Ashaar

Hadd-e-nazar tak na koi manzil na koi muqaam,
raasta humee ne ikthiyaar kiya tha, ab gila karen bhi tho kisse karen?

Woh mera ho na saka kehte hazaar laila-majnu dekhe,
jo mera hokar bhi apna na hua, is dard ko dil mein kaise chupaayen?

na kabhi maatha teka na kabhi sajda kiya,
duaein tho hazaron karni hain, khuda ke saamne haath kaise uthaayen?

sar-e-raah-e-zindagi par baithe hain thak-haar kar,
jaana tho abhi badi door hain, jaan is murda jism mein kahaan se laayen?

kuch tamannaon ka koi thikaana nahi hotha,
jo bayaan hi na ho saka, us afsaane ka anjaam kahaan dhoonden?

14 Comments:

Blogger Vivek said...

subhan allah! (waise gaa ke sunaiye:)!)

dil ki tahon tak pahuncha hai tera dard-e-ba-yaan,
aah au siski joe nikali hai, alfaazo mein kaise gaayen;)

4:41 PM  
Blogger Vivek said...

You claim Urdu is in ur blood:)!

So help me in completing a task that I started but wasn't able to finish because I don't know that much (bloody) Urdu:)!
Read more

4:45 PM  
Blogger Vivek said...

http://viveksharmaiitd.blogspot.com/2005/04/faiz-poem-yeh-mujhe-azeez-bhi-aur.html

4:46 PM  
Blogger tocsin said...

I am not worthy of commenting on this but I have read it :))

8:14 PM  
Blogger India Whining said...

Fizo Ji..

Wouldn't pass any veridict on the style & andaaz-e-bayaan..

Would rather comment about the sentiments echoed in here.. They surely seem to be based on my life !! But then I can't claim to have an extraordinary life !! Buss ek aur Aam Insaan.. ek aur Aam Zindagi.. Aam Khushiyaa.. Aam Tanhaai..

Yeah U guessed it right.. I am hallucinating badly about eating Alphonso Aam's !! Its been a while, I tell yaa :)

8:33 PM  
Blogger asuph said...

gustakhi maaf, fizoji, but is it a ghazal? shaayari yes, but ghazal?

1. the meter (beher) is, to say the least, not constant

2. there is no radif (muqaam and karen? and chupaayen, uthaayen??? doohden??????)

3. where is kaafiyaa?
(kisse, kaise, kahan se, kahaan???)

4. aur, not that it matters but makte me fizo hi nahi hai :D :D :D

That apart, I liked the shaayari. The first couplet reminded me of an old personal poem of mine. The last couplet is especially good.

wah wah @ "kuch tamannaon ka koi thikaana nahi hotha"

indeed.

hazaroon khwaaishein aisi, ki har khwaaish pe dam nikle...

cheers,
asuph.

11:43 PM  
Blogger bleu said...

I will sound erudite by ditto-ing asuph :) but I won't. I would say he stole my words? ;)

It was a wonderful read. how do you manage it all so easy? [jealous]

4:14 AM  
Blogger buckwaasur said...

i don't know what the difference is between ghazal and shaayari, but like asuph said, i found the lack of consistent meter very jarring...in most urdu poetry u write, i am able to read along in a sing-song tone although i don't understand half the words...couldn't do that with this one fizzz

6:00 AM  
Blogger Fizo said...

you are right asuph..this should be renamed to some ashaar :-)

deliberatly kept the 'fizo' out...since I am a modest kind of person unlike...err...you get the drift :-P [j/k]..somehow could not come up with anything...

vivek ji I surely will try my best...

IW ji - aapne tho in yaadon ke taaron ko ched diya [regarding aam :-P]

bleu - :-)

buck - you are right..but was unable to rhyme much with the thoughts....will keep in mind next time..thanks for reading even though as you say you do not understand it that well..true mark of a successful chief ;-)

8:39 AM  
Blogger Fizo said...

tocsin saahab - kya bolte aap?

8:39 AM  
Blogger Sumita said...

Fizo

I read them again and again...

and what can i say... they were beautiful!!

1:19 PM  
Blogger Chay said...

aapne to hume rula diye...
ab gilah shikwah kya aapse karen?

Tammanaon ke afsaanon ko khudse bhi bayaan na kar sake hum...
aur itni aasaani se unhen chhedd diye aap kuch lafzon se
Ke aansuon ke saath woh puraaney toote huye khwaishein bhi
khud ba khud bayaan ho gaye....

7:59 PM  
Blogger Nik said...

Hi,

The way you framed thoughts, its amazing. Keep posting. You can visit my site on http://nikunjthakkar.wordpress.com - I generally attempt to write sort of Gazals but not too deep. Check it out - Nik

11:33 PM  
Blogger kinza said...

this is lovely !
i just went through it and found it really helpful
thanks for putting such a good translation of it.

3:25 PM  

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